Loveology 101 - Love Is a Discipline and Not Just a Feeling

When I believe of love, I believe about all of the things I bask in life. I believe about family, friends, food, books, vacations, and even watching the rainfall fall. However, love travels beyond what you experience or see. Love is a manner of life and not a condition. When you larn to love person unconditionally you do yourself open up to both happy years and sad days. To truly love person is to love them as you love yourself.

The top lesson I have got learned about love is this-when you love person conditionally your human relationship is filled with holes. Conditional love simply intends that if your first mate is "acting" how you experience they should be treating you based on your perceptual experience of the human relationship while ignoring their perception, then you are "in love" with that person. When that individual moves outside of the manner of your top 10 listing of "how to love me and maintain me" standards, you happen yourself beginning to "fall out of love." Conditional love do for a sinking ship as the more than holes that fill the human relationship the less clip you have got to pass on with your first mate about your demands and the ship eventually sinks. More modern times than not, you may happen yourself arguing over the least things (i.e. departure the lavatory place up) in an effort to point fingers or better yet happen a ground to interrupt up with the person. When you have got got got this sort of flip-flopping love it follows you throughout every other human relationship you may have as you have not dealt with the initial problem-COMMUNICATION. When you larn to really love a individual outside of who you are, outside of what you have got got heard, outside of what you have learned from other people's relationships, you larn how to love with discipline.

Disciplined love takes some clip to larn but it is not difficult to master. Honestly, before you are able to love person else you have got to first larn how to love, honor, and regard yourself. How can you state person that you love them if when you look at yourself within the mirror you are constantly belittling yourself for every flaw, fault, and failure you may have got made within your life? How can you state you love person else if you are not willing to encompass yourself for who you are and not person else? How can you state you truly love person when you set personal additions and lucks ahead of yourself? You cannot as you always stop up leaving one individual behind-YOU!

When you larn to love yourself for who you are as individual and not your personal flaws and failures you are then able to see beyond the flaws and failures of your first mate as you have got already been there, done that, and overcame. You have got less clip to concentrate on pointing the finger at your first mate for what he/she is not doing correctly and happen more than clip focusing on what you can make to assist them acquire through their storms. For some people this may be saying nil and just writing a little short letter of grasp to your mate. For others it may be saying a simple supplication or meditating on something good about your first first mate while giving your mate clip and space to work through their problems. No substance what course of study you take, just seek to be there for your mate.

You may inquire yourself "what if they state me to hit the road." Then you have got to find whether or not your first first first mate is saying this out of choler or whether or not this is your mate's true feelings. If you have got no hint either way, inquire your spouse if he or she would be willing to talk with another political party like a human relationship manager or a counselor. If yes, then research the option through this avenue as I have got got establish through my ain human human human relationship that sometimes a neutral political party can assist you see countries within the relationship that you missed because you were emotionally "caught up." If no, then you have to make up one's mind whether or not this is the right relationship for you. Everyone's criteria for staying in a human human human relationship is different but here are my top five (5) which Iodine have got learned to utilize as Iodine personally walk the course of study of learning to be disciplined in loving my partner daily:

• Americium Iodine nagging or communicating clearly my concerns and desires for him?

• Americium Iodine blaming him for his flaws and failures as a agency to run from the relationship or am I trying to work with him in apprehension his flaws and failures?

• Americium I looking at the problem(s) through lenses of adding more than combustible to the problem(s) or helping to happen a solution for the problem(s) in order to snuff out the flames?

• Americium I offering support because I am afraid our place will be torn apart or am I offering support because I cognize he necessitates a friend who will lodge with him until the end?

• Is this relationship going anywhere? Specifically, are we really helping each other move towards our fate or are we tearing each other apart so much that our fate is nil but a faded mystery?

Finally, every human human relationship have its ups and down feathers as we are two people coming together as one for the intents of exploring a relationship together. The adjacent clip you state your spouse or partner that you love them, inquire yourself "how much make I really love you?" Ask yourself if you love that individual just as much as you love yourself. If you experience like you make not love yourself for who you are then take a measure dorsum from your human relationship (let your first mate cognize what you are doing of course of study so you make not give your spouse the feeling that he/she is going out the back door while your new boyfriend is coming through the front) and larn to love you. Keep a diary of self-discovery and when you are ready reunite with your first mate and share with him/her what you have got learned about love. Then together when you are both ready start moving beyond the bounds of conditional love and into the land of loving unconditionally. It is a intimidating undertaking at modern times learning how to love your spouse unconditionally but the end is so much sweeter when you cognize in your bosom of bosom that this is the first mate for you.